Arguments, breakdowns, toxic relationships...: Here are a few tips to deal with Covid-induced domestic issues

Staying at home, financial uncertainties and stress led to marital/relationship distress in Covid19. Experts share pointers on how to create happy relationships

Published: 01st December 2020 05:44 PM  |   Last Updated: 01st December 2020 06:27 PM   |  A+A-

Toxic relationship

Image for representational purpose only. ( Express Illustration | Tapas Ranjan)

Express News Service

HYDERABAD: The Covid-19 pandemic has affected all of us. There has been a marked increase in people reaching out for psychological help during the past year. Many have experienced a spurt in their stress levels feeling emotionally turbulent during this time. Due to months of being confined in close spaces, some have also faced domestic abuse and marital issues.  

In between March 25 and May 31 this year, 1,477 complaints of domestic violence were made by women. This period recorded more complaints than those received between the same months in the previous 10 years. “The intense circumstances created by Covid-19 have manifolded our stress to tremendous highs, bringing in a myriad of additional problems into our homes,” says Jayapalashri Anil, priestess, shaman, light body practitioner, meditation facilitator, Samskara Healing.

It’s extremely perplexing for us to adapt to this so-called new-normal. Sanjana Bafna Ranka, founder, The Equilibrium says, “Our houses are crammed with people, while our mind is crumpled with perplexity. There is meant to be a lot of friction. Arguments, breakdowns, financial crisis, and dealing with toxic relationships have become difficult to handle as we were confined to our homes.”

Turn miff and tiff into healthy arguments

Arguments when attached with a sense of ego turn fruitful discussions to cause misunderstandings. Chinmayee Tammreddy, emotional intelligence life coach, The Equilibrium lists tips to turn a tiff into a healthy argument. 

Arguments have a learning curve: One must have valid points to base their arguments on.

Truth can be objective: Do not lose your calm as anger loses the ability to see the truth.

Be gentle and intuitive: Be intuitive to recognise the moment an argument could flip into a nasty fight, destroying your relationship.

Create healthy and happy relationships

A relationship which is bonded by obsession, jealousy and passiveness can never harness a positive and fruitful relationship. Jyotsna Ahuja Kapoor, counsellor, transformation coach, and founder, The White Space says to overcome these emotions, couples can follow these pointers to create a safe space for mutual growth and love.

Safe Space: A relationship is essentially where two people co-create a safe space wherein they explore themselves and each other, not just grow, but blossom, and experience the highest potential of human emotions, love and joy.

Trust: Trust is the very foundation of any kind of intimacy – be it physical, emotional or mental.

Past Baggage: Very often past trauma in any form brings in heavy baggage that can leave both partners reeling from its weight. Most often this trauma is the core cause of insecurity, which may manifest as jealousy, obsession, possessiveness etc in relationships.

Reassurance of safety: A partner who is insecure is looking for an anchor in the other, to feel safe. Giving them this reassurance of safety is of paramount importance in their healing and overall healthy relationship.

Empowerment: The stronger partner needs to empower the other one to find avenues outside the relationship that fulfil them and make them feel bonded into emotional and mental wellbeing.

Stress-induced emotional symptoms

Tips to deal with stress

  • Have a balanced diet n Avoid too much caffeine and oily food
  • Avoid or limit alcohol consumption n Prioritise sleep of a minimum of seven hours
  • Keep a workout routine
  • Take a break and do fun and relaxing things n Socialise and meet friends
  • Take-up new hobbies n Adopt a meditation routine and do Pranayama
  • Don’t commit to things which you are unable to do to do

Depression
Unhappiness
Irritation
Anxiety
Loneliness n Anger
Moody n Overthinking

–  Jayapalashri Anil

How to handle emotional issues

Self-awareness and acknowledgement 
Don’t get caught in well-meaning but meaningless comfort 
To hell with the taboo 
Organisations have a strong role to play

“Emotional turbulence can cause a long-lasting impact on our lives. People just don’t realise it as they go about their day-to-day life, juggling multiple priorities, tackling multiple challenges both at the personal and professional front.”

— Sonica Aron, founder and MD, Marching Sheep

Check for red flags and get out of a toxic relationship

You know you are in a toxic relationship when you are anxious or feel drained when being with your partner. Savitha Subramanian, positive psychology and meditation coach, The Equilibrium tells what to do to desist it.

  • Immediate: Get out of the relationship straight off
  • Empathise: When the person is in a receptive mood, explain their behaviour is hurting
  • Seek support:  Consult family and friends 
  • Master the art of non-reaction: Non-reaction is a way of retaliation
  • Physical distancing: It helps to unbuckle mental and emotional ties, and recover and revive yourself. 

Forgive and forge ahead: Realise that you deserve healthy love.  Rescue ‘you’:  Seek professional help 

— Tamanna S Mehdi
 tamanna@newindianexpress.com 
 @tamannamehdi

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